I haven’t tied up many guys, but I find the stories of how I’ve managed to subdue men in real life worth sharing. For some of these guys, I just had a fling with them and bondage somehow was involved. For other guys, I had deeper connections with them and bondage was also somehow involved. To protect these guys’ privacy, the names I have here are aliases. If you know who I am and you’re one of the guys I talk about here, I apologize in advanced if my depiction of you is at all unflattering. Even though some of the guys on this list aren’t in speaking terms with me, my intention here isn’t to put anyone on blast. I am doing this to give some insight about being a bondage fetishist who tries to incorporate his fetish into his real interactions with boyfriends, hookups, and friends, so I don’t mean to insult or 13 Reasons Why anyone I mention.
Phil
Phil and I met on Scruff one time when I was visiting my hometown for Christmas. He was a tall, slender, slightly older white guy. He kind of reminded me of a young Robert Englund, the actor who is mostly known for playing Freddy Kruegar in A Nightmare on Elm Street, which I found pretty hot.
When we started messaging each other, he was a bit coy at first, then we somehow arranged to meet. Luckily, he was just as cute in person as he was in pictures. However, I found his shyness a little off-putting. When I got into his car, I told him something about how cute he looked, because I liked his outfit, which seemed to catch him off guard because he giggled boyishly and fumbled with his verbal response. Now, I realize that directly complimenting someone you don’t know that well on their looks usually uncomfortably puts them on the spot, which is especially the case for men since we aren’t as conditioned to focus on our looks or be complimented for them, but I figured that it would have been okay considering how we were meeting to hook up. Regardless of that, Phil was really sweet.
We got to his place, which was just a few blocks from my mom’s house, and we got down to business on his bed. We started kissing heavily and touching each other. At first, Phil was on top, then we switched. He started unbuttoning his shirt, but I stopped him so I could do it. Unbuttoning other guys’ shirts is one of my favorite things to do. I also appreciate the bit of effort for a hookup that wasn’t very premeditated, which was part of why I complimented him in the car. Phil seemed to like my assertion. Once his shirt was unbuttoned, I was feeling more encouraged to be aggressive, so I took a chance by clamping my hand over his mouth and nuzzling his hairy chest, then nibbling on his nipples.
Phil quivered and moaned with pleasure as I made his body mine. I felt his lips and stubble graze my palm as he lightly struggled. His face looked like he was in complete ecstasy as my hand kept his head in place and muffled his moans of pleasure. After a few minutes of this, a new burst of excitement and energy came over him as he moved my hand, so he could speak.
“Oh my god! This is so hot!” Phil exclaimed breathily. He composed himself a little more, then asked “Are you really into bondage?”
I hesitated for a second. My track record for sharing my fetish with other guys hasn’t been that good and our conversations on Scruff have been more about just hooking up without anything kinky. However, Phil seemed to be into what we were already doing and I would have even been happy with just covering his mouth all night long.
I said “Yeah…”
“Well, I have all kinds of toys in my headboard if you’d like to tie me up” Phil suggested.
I rolled over so he can get up and turn on his lamp. Phil then slid his headboard open, which had shelves with all kinds of condoms, lube, butt plugs, and restraints. Apparently, Phil was quite the crafter and built his own bed frame complete with metal hooks at each corner for hand and foot restraints, as well as his headboard that discreetly contained all kinds of kinky paraphernalia inside. This was the motherload, and I was glad that I made the bold move to hand gag Phil, ultimately preventing us from having vanilla sex, which is something a lot of kinksters have to settle for.
After marvelling at everything, Phil and I got back to business. Of course, the first things to be restrained were his wrists to either side of his headboard. Then, I decided to strap his legs to the headboard, so his ass can be easily accessible. With Phil in that compromising position, I spanked him a little, then started lubing him up and easing my fingers into him. Once he seemed ready to go, I stuffed his used briefs into his mouth and started going to town on him.
I loved that Phil seemed to understand what I wanted from him as far as moaning and struggling. My favorite thing was looking at his gagged face wince as I went a little faster and harder. His eyebrows cutely started to furrow as if he were pleading with me. Eventually, the forced stirrup posture became a little much for Phil, so I freed his legs to let him rest them as we finished. It felt as though unexpectedly discovering each other’s kinky sides drew us a little closer to each other. This is not to imply that we began dating or even became friends who kept in contact with each other after I left my hometown, but we seemed to appreciate each other for several short moments.
After having pretty hot, but strenuous sex, we cuddled and crashed for the rest of the night. In the morning, we had some pillow talk and made out a little, then he complimented my natural odor, which he claimed to be a very masculine scent, reminding me that I ran a full day of errands the previous day and had no time to shower because of our rendezvous. Even though I appreciated the compliment, I decided that I should finally shower, so I did and Phil accompanied me. Afterwards, he dropped me off with my friend who was housesitting for someone who was gone for the holidays.
Phil and I met again on Christmas night. When he picked me up, he was wearing what he said was his ex’s old army uniform, yet he could have picked it up from any thrift store in town because we had a huge military base and former soldiers usually dumped their uniforms at nearby second hand shops. I personally would have preferred dressier attire, but he still looked really hot in the getup and he actually looked like someone who can be in the military with his cropped hair and slim build. I would have loved tying him up like that, but that didn’t seem to be his intention. We both pretty much got naked as soon as we got to his place, then he insisted on tying me up this time. I loved the idea, but he was a little too tender for my liking.
I was tantalized by the thought at first because I didn’t know what his dominant side would look like. Maybe he wanted to put me in an equally compromising position that I put him in nights ago, then have his way with me. Maybe he was a little more into torture than I was. When I got strapped down, he blindfolded me, then gingerly touched and kissed me everywhere, which was good, but I needed to feel a little more under his control to really be into it. I mean, if we had been dating and this was just his style, I would have been more patient, but I felt like our other night together really set a particular tone and this wasn’t living up to that expectation. Also, Phil’s sweetness was nice, but he didn’t seem very confident about or committed to the dominant role, which is something I need as someone who is usually the more aggressive and dominant one. So, things got a little stale and he untied me. In spite of this slight hang-up, we still had a nice night together. Instead of roughing it up again or having sex, we just talked and eventually fell asleep. In the morning we went out for breakfast.
After untying me that one night, Phil and I attempted having a repeat of the previous night with me tying up and fucking him, but he wasn’t as amped up this time around, which is why we wound up talking. His proposal for not having sex involved the notion that he “wanted to get to know me more,” instead of just having steamy and kinky encounters with me. During the time we spent together, we obviously did quite a bit of talking, which led to some bonding. Even though I didn’t get to learn much about him because we didn’t spend a lot of time together, I started seeing him as a fairly kind-hearted guy and he seemed to start seeing me as something more than a random kinkster who likes tying him to his bed. When we had breakfast that last time, he hinted at the logistics of transferring his job closer to where I lived, which alluded to the possibility of us having something a bit more serious.
Him even just saying this was clearly a bold and drastic move, but Phil kind of had me in a trance, so that suggestion excited me. As someone who notoriously finds it difficult to connect with people and far too easy to misinterpret other people’s signals, I really value direct confirmation about people liking me and wanting to pursue long-term things with me. Then it becomes an entirely different story when bondage is thrown into the mix because I often long for relationships with people who would be interested in regularly incorporating bondage into our lives without it always resulting in sex. Plus, I’ve gotten burned several times with guys who were too intimidated by my fetish, so I usually put those who value my kink on a pedestal over the others. However, if all of this sounds too good to be true, that’s because it was. For the following days, we texted each other like dumb, love-struck teenagers, then the ghosting eventually happened. I’m usually the stubborn one who refuses to let things go because I, at the very least, crave some sort of definitive closure that the other party is no longer interested in pursuing something with me, but that rarely ever happens because nobody ever likes to be direct. So, I was emotional and bitter at the time.
However, I don’t have any hard feelings toward Phil because I completely understand how unrealistic uprooting like that to be with some kinky guy he met on Scruff would have been. Plus, he seemed a little too meek to be the one to break everything to me gently. I also didn’t want our end to compromise the fun we did have because I’ve had many other casual, spontaneous hookups that weren’t as memorable as the one I had with Phil. Phil kind of serves as my reminder that kinky guys can sometimes just be right around the corner and they don’t always showcase their kinkiness on websites like Recon or even Tumblr, during that time. This means that it’s usually worth it to just go for it and make a kinky move with someone you’re hooking up with if it seems right. If I didn’t cover his mouth that first time we were together, we probably would have just had okay sex, then moved on easier without me knowing about all the sexy supplies in his headboard, without having a little more of a connection with each other.
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